Of phones and phony tones

It can be a little unnerving to be considered an authority on a subject that doesnt boast of a heirarchical decision making process. Had been at the receiving end of a barrage of queries relating to telephone tarriffs when my new colleagues sniffed a "wireless" tugging along my otherwise non descript repertoire. If choosing horses for courses was a racy proposition, choosing a mobile service provider ( and a service therein ) warranties phenomenal deliberations. Spending an hour just to decipher the intricacies of the tariff dynamics seems to have become the latest national pastime. Add to that, the "offers" being made by sundry operators in the leading broadsheets and you have the perfect recipe for unabated price wars. Should one be opting for a pre-paid connection or its the post paid one that puts paid to the common man's needs ? Does that tariff plan provide free ring tones and will I be able to SMS all night long without burning a gaping hole in my already emaciated pocket ? The fine print only adds to the frenzy of the already blithe discussion. "Differentiation" is the hip word that many mobile evangelists coin to support the fog that surrounds our country's telecom market. Had never been good at the branch of mathematics they call "calculus" but that shouldnt be blamed for my bias against the present state of quagmire. TRAI has been instrumental in letting the thin ray of hope that aspires to straighten up proceedings but it seldom gives the impression of a watch dog that has got its canines in place. They talk of number porting when service providers offer life long validities for peanuts. Uniform calling rates across the length and breadth of this country seems to be under the purview of wishful thinking. The variance of tariffs across operators and across schemes from the same operator makes for rather intriguing predicaments. I use two different ( and leading ) service providers to cater to my local and long distance calling needs ( would have gone for three if my fiscals allowed a third mobile phone ). With as many options available as one has toes, it seems unlikely that we could be thinking of better ways to save our money. Consolidation is the name of the game but the rate at which it is being played, its certain that I am not going to be spared these phony conversations for some time. If only I could say "Would the best horse prance up??"